Oh my dear, lovies! It's my last week of being 25 years old and I can't believe it. Just to clarify, it's not the fact that I'm turning a year older that shocks me, (which inevitably happens no matter what), it's the fact that it's almost the end of the year and another year will soon be filed away in my memories to look back on.
I think about where I was at in my life a year ago and it's like I was completely different person. Last year, my mind set was all wrong and I was completely unhappy with where I was at in my life. I compare it to this year and it just blows my mind how much I've grown and how more at peace I feel about everything in my life. It's euphoric for me to say this, but I'm finally at a good place in my life. I can securely say that this year has been one of the best and most life changing years I've ever experienced. I learned so many things about myself in many different forms and how to be the best person I can be. I wanted to share a few of those life lessons with you all. Maybe even you can relate to some of them. :)
- Realize you can't control everything in life.
For me, one of the most comforting things is planning. I like to plan out my day and my week in order to have control over my life. It just makes me feel better. But sometimes, things don't always go as planned, right? Unforeseen events take place and it shakes us from our normal lives that were supposed to stay within our plan. And then what happens? We start to feel panicky and maybe even our anxiety starts to sky rocket. There's a sense of comfort knowing what's going to happen. Here's the thing though, life isn't always going to go our way. It's just isn't and that's the reality of it. We can plan out our whole lives, but things will happen that will shake us and maybe even break us. I've had a lot of moments this past year where I struggled to accept that. I set goals for my blog and they didn't happen. I set plans to pay my car off by a certain time and then got into a car accident during the month of my last payment. I picked up side projects that I thought would make me happy, but they didn't. I planned all these things for myself, yet unexpected circumstances got in the way. But the minute I accepted that things will not always go my way, the more at peace I felt with myself. I can't control everything, but I can control my outlook on life, which is to stay positive. So I focus on that instead. Don't get me wrong, I still make plans for myself, there's nothing wrong with goal setting. It's actually a vital part of living a successful life. But I don't get so bent out of shape if things don't go my way. I trust that God has a way for me and that I gotta follow Him instead of focusing on what I want and what I want to do. In the end, I've found that the more I trust Him, the more I realize that His plans for me are far better than the ones I came up with on my own.
- Give yourself some time to rest & replenish.
GOSH. I feel like I've exhausted the topic of saying yes to yourself and saying no to others so many times (which you can find here & here). This has been such an issue for me because I'm a people pleaser. I initially want to make everyone else happy and put myself last. I've worked on this problem a lot this year and I know what I need to do in order to live a healthy and well-balanced life. (Took me long enough, right?!) I've realized that serving others is great, but I also need to take care of myself and designate time to do what I want to do. For me, this means designating certain time frames on my days off to spend time with my boyfriend cooking, grocery shopping, talk about budgeting, or going to the movies. It also means spending time by myself at home doing chores and organizing. I also like going to church and feeding my spirit so I have good words to reflect on throughout the week. These are the things that relax me and that I make time for. By doing these things, I'm replenishing myself and it gives me the strength to go on and still help others.
- Change your perspective and attitude in moments of conflict.
I think it's always easier to assume the worst in everyone and everything, especially in moments of conflict. Most of the time, when a conflict arises with a friend, family member or work colleague, I tend to automatically think badly of that person. It's common to do in a situation like that, but it doesn't make it right. This year, I've learned to expand my thinking in moments of conflict. I reflect on the situation and think, "What if that other person is just having a bad day? What if it's something deeper and they're stressed about something? What if I wasn't communicating properly with that person?" We all have different perspectives and in moments of conflict, it's important to remember that. Instead of responding back with anger, change your perspective and respond in love. If you find that you have conflict with someone and they respond badly towards you, try asking if everything is okay and see what they say. Sometimes, all it takes is a simple genuine question. Ask them why they're responding to you that way and resolve it. From experience, I've found that this simple act of kindness helps ease the conflict. Most of the time, the person ends up explaining they had something happen to them before our conversation and it really affected their mood. Now, is it right for people to take that energy out on you, no it's not. However, it gives me clarity because they were communicative about it. If the conflict is irresolvable at that time, then just let that person know you're there for them and are willing to talk. They'll come around eventually and you can walk away from the situation knowing you tried your hardest to come to a resolution. No matter what, still believe the best in people and move on; you never know what someone is going through.
- Never doubt your abilities to do something great.
There have been moments in my life where I've felt hopeless and insecure. I didn't really think I had purpose and wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with my life. It made me think that maybe I wasn't destined for greatness. But here's the thing: I wasn't put on this planet to just be ordinary, and neither were you. We are meant to be extraordinary. We all have the potential to do great things in our world. All it takes is belief in ourselves and belief that God will see us through it all. I have many people in my life who encourage me. They help me remember my worth and inspire me to live that out. This year, I've learned to not let doubt over take me and to keep my mindset strong with confidence while keeping my heart full with hope & humility.
- Don't waste your time doing things or spending time with people that aren't good for your soul.
I like to keep busy and get involved in a lot of projects. However, I've learned this year that there are going to be some jobs or projects that I get involved in that I end up not liking. And guess what? That's okay. A lot of the time, if you make a commitment, always remember to stay professional and see it through to the end. But if a job or project is consistently affecting your spirit in a negative way, then it's better to move on to something else. This lesson can also be applied to your relationships with people. If you have people in your life that are not inspiring you to grow into a mature, successful and loving person, then it's best to find another set of people that will. You & I are on a journey to do great things. You'll hit some road blocks along the way, but those blocks can teach you which roads are the best and healthiest ways to take and will help you meet people who are trying to take that same successful journey. Don't waste your time focusing on things or people that are not challenging you or helping you feed your soul. You have the ability to make those decisions, so always remember that.
Have a wonderful Sunday Xo