7 Things Death Has Taught Me This Time Around // Faithfully Honest
With my aunt’s recent passing, it made me think a lot about if I’m living my life intentionally. Do I look outside of my bubble of life and realize there is so much more than my day to day? To be honest, I sometimes forget this, living more robotic most days. I fail to acknowledge the fact that time is ever present, but my life expectancy can’t keep up with it.
It sounds awful that it takes losing a loved one to remind myself of this. But the truth is, I always think there is more time. I foolishly plan and belittle the small what-if of not being present on this Earth next year, next week or even tomorrow. I have an expectation that I will wake up everyday with the people I love still alive and breathing. The sad truth is that’s not always the case.
I’ve been reflecting on the last moments I had with my loved ones who have now passed…the last weekend I had with my Dad before passing the following Monday morning, the last morning I saw my Uncle before he moved back to the Philippines and passed there, the last quick conversation I had with my other Uncle on the phone before he passed on Christmas, the last few messages I exchanged with my Aunt days before she passed last month. I wonder if I should have done or said anything differently for each moment. Should I have spent more time with them? Should I have called more? Should I have said I loved them more?
Although losing a loved one is generally a somber time, it’s also a time when people share their most treasured moments of the person who’s passed, most of which are happy memories. At my Dad’s wake, I met person after person who told me stories I never heard of how my Dad played a role of happiness in their moments of need. When my Aunt passed, her Facebook account was flooded with posts from family & friends, each post laced with lasting memories of her. As for my lasting memories, I remember my Dad with a huge smile on his face, laughing and acting goofy to put a smile on my face. I think the same of my Aunt, singing karaoke, baking oatmeal raison cookies with her as she tells me stories that have me rolling with laughter. They all lived their life as best as they could, to the fullest that they could.
I miss my loved ones every day, but I find that the best way to move forward in memory of them is to live my life to its fullest, finding my happiness when I can, and leaving a positive impression on the ones around me.
Here are 7 things death has taught me this time around:
Life is shorter than what we give it credit for.
So all the things you keep saying you want to do, make a plan, and do them! Start that business you’ve always wanted, reunite with old friends and have fun, take a day off and drive to the beach for the day even just to see the sunset…take every moment and live it out to the best of our your ability.
Look at every opportunity to do good as an adventure.
Follow through with that act of kindness you’ve been keeping locked up in your heart. Give out a compliment to someone and mean it with your whole heart. Give without expecting anything in return. Whether it ends up good or bad in the end, at least you can say you gave it your all.
Don’t take time with someone for granted.
Really immerse yourself in your interactions with people, whether it be that conversation, that laugh, or that hug. You truly never know when it’s your last time with them.
Check up on your loved ones more.
Ask how they are and talk to them. Learn more about the people around you with a genuine heart and see what lessons you can learn from them that you can carry into your own life.
Record the good memories.
Take lots of photos and videos and document every great moment as best as you can. Grieving sucks, but it helps when you have pictures and videos of lost loved ones to look back on.
Love hard.
Don’t be scared to tell people how much they mean to you or how they inspire you or how they’ve impacted your life or how much you love them.
Don’t let anger stick.
Forgive people more and remember everyone is human. Let go of the grudges and breathe. Boundaries against toxic people are necessary but don’t bind yourself within the hurt. Instead, free yourself from it all and live your best life.
Xo