A couple weeks ago, I almost lost it. After a string of 5 days filled with conflict and struggle, I officially had my first bad week of of the year. It was mind boggling to me because things were going so well and it instantly switched like a light disappearing into darkness. However, a bad day or week inevitably happens at some point.
To put it simply, it seemed that my interactions with people were bothersome, my mind was distracted causing me to fail on my A game in terms of accomplishing tasks and I just wasn't in high spirits. And it seemed that even if I tried to have a positive mindset, something would happen to knock me down again. I look back on that week and recognize that I should have remembered that I have more control over my attitude than I realize in the moment. I have the ability to shift my mind set even when I get knocked down and say to myself, "Count your blessings and focus on the good" instead of focusing the bad situation at hand. I've told myself this more than I could count. When my friends come to me for advice or just vent about a bad situation they're going through, I encourage them to do the same. I always try to look at the bright side of things, but that whole week, I just couldn't get myself to do that. This is a perfect example of me needing to practice what I preach, huh?
In John 12:36, I am reminded to not let the darkness of this world overtake me. I am reminded to look to God in my struggling moment, to look to the light. I am reminded to follow suit and BE a light. Jesus says, "Put your trust in the light while there is still time." I read this and thought, "If only it were that simple, Lord!" The thing is, it's not.
I think sometimes it's easier to just dwell in our struggling moments than to just move on from them. It feels comfortable to not try as hard to be positive or to just blame everyone and everything you interact with for why you're in a bad mood or are having a bad day. Granted, although everyone and everything can be the cause of a bad mood or day, it doesn't necessarily mean that you don't have a choice in terms with how you deal with it.
The past few days have been days of reflection for me. I can recall so many instances where God worked tremendously in my life and how His light has changed my life. I remember days before I committed myself to Christ and how dark everything was. I felt so purposeless and worthless, thinking that maybe my life wasn't meant to be bred for greatness. There were many trying times that made me feel pretty hopeless. A lot of times, life can knock us down and it's hard to hold on to hope. However, our God is so gracious that His love covers all. I find such profound faith in that. The world is tough, but my God is tougher. The world is dark, but my God's light shines so bright that nothing could stop it from emmitting His great wonder and grace. I hold on to this and know that no matter what I go through, God has my back, now and forever.
Happy Saturday <3